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Archives for June 2009

Tweets That Moved A Nation

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Send Twitter, iPods and YouTube, The Sh*t Has Hit The Fan

Developments are moving faster than bloviators. Mercifully. Even the usual Neocon self serving hypocrisy stumbles over itself in daily revisionism. (How does Dan Senor even show his face in public?)

We think Obama has it about right. The office of the presidency is largely ceremonial and not in the chain of command. There is little in his record to suggest Moussavi would be any less intractable re nukes, Israel or regional imperialism.

We know less about Iranian affairs than the Neocons. So if a reader has a different and more informed pov by all means please share.

And then there is this gem from Freedom Fighter Pete Hoekstra

Stupid is as stupid does

Who knew Pete Hoekstra himself would become a meme?

Our Common Peril (revised)

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Paul Krugman succinctly sums up the media’s belated understanding of the relationship among Fox News, Rightist Talk Radio, political extremism and now murders. He says in passing, “And at this point, whatever dividing line there was between mainstream conservatism and the black-helicopter crowd seems to have been virtually erased.”

Here at STSOZ since the early 2000s we diagnosed the differences among the Movement, its various strands and ‘Republicans”. Long ago we tried to explain that the Movement is the controlling parasite astride its enfeebled Republican host. The Movement’s reaction to Obama’s 2008 victory only underscores the point.

Today’s ‘mainstream media’ still do not fully understand the dichotomy. Or its implications. They still treat ‘Republicans’ and Democrats as equivalent political actors playing the same game by the same rules for the same prizes. As long as relative neophytes view politics in this prism, the Movement wins.

What we here at STSOZ call the Movement within the conservative base always plays a different game for a different prize. The Movement may speak in normal political talking points from ‘Republican’ institutions. Yet it isn’t not committed to Dahl-esque pluralistic politics. It has never sought or tolerated compromise or ‘moderation’. That’s because for the Movement, politics is existential warfare. Compromise is defeat.

Because Krugman et al. fail to grasp the fundamental differences among the Movement, the former Republican and Democratic parties, talking heads tell Americans the Movement is just the ‘Republican base’. As if somehow the Movement and its Manichean zero-sum nihilism is the same as the Democratic base. Say like the Sierra Club or unions.

Stunned By A Phoenix

It wasn’t always like this, of course. Until 1992 the Republican Party remained the dominant organizational entity and kept the Movement as a subordinate coalition partner within bounds. But after the Bush debacle in ’92, the Movement learned to seize power on its own within and without the Republican Party. The signs began with the Movement’s no longer filtered rage, paranoia, and conspiracy fever in 1993. By the 1994 midterms, the Movement began to eclipse the Republican establishment. By 2001-2008, the Movement completed its eclipse and take over of the old Republican Party.

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Oh Kendall, For Fidel?

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When we heard the DGI yet again suborned some State types while we bit into a steak fajita at Chipotle Mexican Grill, liberated from Gringo McDonald’s imperialism since 2006, we mused what functionary had fallen for one of Cuba’s greatest natural resources. Maybe she was even a natural blonde.

First up, in a world with human beings, we are going to get penetrated. Sure as the Sun rises. We can manage the risk. Minimize the risk. But it’s going to happen — especially lately given the reaction to the Warlord’s Authoritarianism. On this we are serious: seeds planted in appalled reaction to Bush-Cheney may yield bitter fruit for us regarding agents in place for the coming decades. WFO has its work cut out for it.

DGI Versus Uncle Sam, Super Genius And Acme Tech

Second, the DGI simply are first rate. For their own internal doctrine, training and culture. But also because they understand how to push in this case American buttons. They also understand that American techno-fetishism remains undimmed, especially the so-called box. As you know, having watched both “Chuck” on NBC and possibly a Bond flick, the ‘box’ is really nothing more than a series of galvanic skin response measurements along with other biologic stress recorders. What calls itself CIA today and others still swear by the whole thing. To our ultimate loss.

In the old days, ever wander into a facility and noticed piles of change around soda machines or on the floor? Alot easier to do and be able to say ‘no’ to stealing at the office and not worry about a sweaty guilty flashback to that Mountain Dew you scrounged coming back to bite you in the ass because you get a crappy read on what should have been a pass. Not entirely apocryphal. Now you’re at FSI studying Urdu while it gets ‘cleared up.’ Better today, but the whole process still largely governs by fear and is art, not science, at its best.

Unfortunately for the High Priests some individuals and even whole ethnic elements have different response patterns. Advocates deny it, but the facts are that some Latin personalities for a variety of reasons seem able to defeat the box. The DGI has kicked CIA’s ass time and time again by sending people whom CIA tested, passed, trusted and of course we got burned big time. We are not talking about small little ops. Over decades this has been going on. It’s a Warners Brothers cartoon, folks. Some slavic personalities are also able to manage their stress reactions and continue to give false positives. And then there are mediocrities like Ames. . . But the Cult of Box makes Apple enthusiasts look like Walmart zomboids.

Look, Dear, This Is Building True Socialism !! Under Fidel Everyone Has A Free Sun Tan !!

The Name Is Myers, Kendall Myers

Kendall went to State ostensibly to avoid the box. We knew him tangentially back in the 1980s. For personal reasons unrelated to this blog already aware of his purely academic limitations, we largely stayed clear. Apparently, he had some private epiphany in the 1978 time frame. Let me emphasize that to distinguish what the major papers are reporting as specific dates: *timeframe*.

Learning he betrayed the country for some contrived love for Fidel remains unconvincing at this remove although it was 1978 with ‘Hey, Hey, LBJ’ still echoing in the air and Khmer Rouge Chic affectation still rampant. Nonetheless, Fidel has, um, vast quantities of Cuban ‘natural resources’. For whatever reason, even if not the brightest bulb around, Kendall had to know the DGI of all the Soviet Bloc related services ranked near the top at false flag operations. Perhaps other shoes may drop. We will close with one thought about that. If we’re wrong, and it was all truly a simple awakening to the joys of building socialism, ell that boy just ain’t right, as they say. Perhaps, if Plato takes his case and the usual deal fall through, he may offer creative extenuating circumstances.

PLATO: Your Honor, Defendant respectfully asks that Exhibit 1959(c) be entered into evidence.

JUDGE: What is it, Counsel?

PLATO: This is the K-Tel Top 10 List For 1978. THIS on the radio. Day after day, week after week, haunting my client and his wife, Your Honor. As they started promising careers to defend this Nation against her enemies. May I?

JUDGE: Proceed.

PLATO: The Bee Gees, “Stayin Alive”. Then, Debbie Boone, “You Light Up My Life”, followed again by The Bee Gees, “How Deep Is Your Love” . . . (turn to US Prosecutor). Even a man of iron will would break and weep like a child. I could go on . . . and all in heavy rotation.

US Prosecutor: Oh God, I had no idea. How could we have known?

JUDGE: Counsel, is the Court being offered ‘The Bee Gees Defense”?

Levity in an otherwise bleak situation. Now there is one item I will add from personal background so must do so very carefully. My opacity here is not based on games but a desire to inform while being respectful and careful. Myers very, very, very early on had an issue which caused certain people to propose denying him a security clearance. This would be in the 1977/78 time frame. This is not speculation. It was unrelated to ‘Cuba’. And he eventually did get his clearance.

The matter was not box related (his handlers more than he, we suspect, determined he would be wise to stay clear of the off kilter (because of JJA and Church/ Pike Committees) but still formidable Agency. Besides, the DGI finds mid-level assets useful. CIA then and what calls itself CIA now were and are heavily compartmentalized. State, by comparison, is a Doris Day pillow party.

Like a legal matter, fact patterns are essential, especially dates and time. And my memory is not what it was once was. But his issue was in the 1977/78 period. I can’t say for certain which even plausibly could be construed as even a potential chicken or egg. If there is any causal relationship at all.

But am sipping coffee Sunday morning, wondering. And shuddering at Plato’s revelations . . . someone call Turley and get the Spanish judge.

What Was On The ‘Other’ Teleprompter

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Yo, I am so honored to be in the timeless city of Cairo. Let me tell you, folks, you really kick Cairo, Georgia — do you know those guys put their Sphinx outside a used lawn mower dealer? For real. When Rahm and I saw yours, for the first time we said the exact same thing. And I so get Hamilton Jordan now.

Standing here in Egypt, let me just say that Planet Earth DVD does not do you justice. Even in Blu Ray. How exciting to realize that for thousands of years, real, breathing Muslim-like people, with nothing but sand and thousands of years of their own imperialism, have been studying and learning. And creating green, well-paying jobs. All without 1-800- ITT Technical Institute.

You also had a library around here somewhere. They say it rocked until some punks burned it down. The American people support you in your loss. We too have the same problem on Halloween. I have asked the State Department to create a computerized library registration program for Egypt in 2009 to help protect your records for the future. I am also proud to carry with me the goodwill of the 23% American people who know where your Cairo is. As they say in Detroit : assalaamu alaykum.

As A Gesture Of Respect I Also Saved The Escalade Because Of Our Shared Value: Bling


We Meet At A New Moment

We meet at a time when 1.8 billion of you are pissed off at 300 million Americans. You’re growing fast with alot of young people. For centuries you helped the West rise from barbarism. We then had a good couple of hundred years there, too, kicking it. So here we are.

But we must face facts. We’re broke. This latest global war on terrorism? Your Hymen Al-Zawakiribernste (fades to mumble) really called it. Gotta fess up. My predecessor, his Sith Lord Vice President, and of all people, the Neocons — the Neocons! They all bought this war from you at retail. Didn’t haggle for any bulk order discounts, on site service contracts, or even threaten to walk away. Not once. Plus, they were so dumb they bought the extended service plan from everyone on everything. And didn’t keep the receipts! EPIC FAIL, as the kids say.

So I am here to tell you what you already know: Americans can’t negotiate shit. Not even at Costco. I brought all my negotiators here with me to learn they don’t need to buy the high definition tv color correction service from either Muslims *or* Israelis. And that “Sonny” is *not* the same inside as “Sony” with bargain name.

The World Is One Big Ball

One of our Jewish comedians who bats around .210, Bill Maher, learned we Americans can’t accept it took some cajones to fly airplanes into buildings. Cajones I learned on one of my first trips outside the U.S. means testicles, usually in the idiom of Latin culture testicles of enormous girth, high tensile strength and the potential for maximum biologic function. So let us end the debate now: you Muslims have testicles, except for your women and certain other statistical anomalies.

I have come here to seek a new beginning between the United States and Muslims around the world; one based upon our bankruptcy, ineptitude and your all too obvious inability to get it all together, too. As I said, we are broke. We’re closing down Gitmo. We’re also closing down Michigan, Ohio, Indiana and may put California on eBay.

Retreat Under The Cover Of Dialogue

We’re leaving Iraq. We have learned from you in this. Like Saddam in 1991 we are declaring ourselves the winner. We’ll slink out — so hold on to the 1960s de-colonization party kits. To ensure the retreat of American power is masked with the word “Dialogue”, I am announcing it today live to billions watching on TV. This guarantees it will be ‘old news’ in three days. And forgotten in ten.

It’s your Iraq. Don’t be a hater. Billions wasted in reconstruction already reside in your own private bank accounts. Those 1950 Soviet weapons you sold the insurgents. You had a good return. Now, it’s true we screwed up Iraq, and effectively made it a part of a greater Persian imperial expansion. Here’s a free hint from our strategic experts: let the Persians come, trick them. Then get 300 really tough guys to block these things called gate cliff, uh, things. And watch for midget mutant traitors. Because we’re bugging out of there, too. For street cred it’ll take another five years after Iraq before we blow that joint.

Afghanistan? At last count, we discovered 294 different tribes who hate each other, Arabs and Whitey. Now, that’s not too different from South Side Chicago, let me tell you. I’ve been oppressed by The Man, too, as you may know. For years I was Barry Obama and quite popular. But my early focus groups freshman year in college revealed people believed I was some recurring guest star on ‘The Mod Squad’ TV show. So because of The Man, I was forced to change my name to Barack. And look who’s president now? Do any of you, any of the 1.5 billion listening, picture President Barry Obama with an afro do? Especially after steroids in the news? So I am living proof that defying The Man pays off. As they say in Naruto – “BELIEIVE IT !!!”

We’re gone from Afghanistan, too. That’ll take longer. Americans still like the idea of blowing things up there. I also can’t pull out of both at the same time without exposing our plan for talking to cover bankrupt retreat. But we can’t afford that war, either, even on modified terms. Beijing will be telling me what to do about it all in a few years anyway.

For Al Qaeda, it’s a little whack if you ask me. This whole killing of all the other Muslims so they can then create this Caliphate? There, we must take a stand. And so should you. Just look at the Republican Party in the United States. Every day they shoot another one of their own for treason, for moderation, for rationality, for independent thinking. Every day other innocents get blown up by crazed talk show hosts and suicide former Senate stafffers driving bombs into intelligent discourse.

{PAUSE — THEN VERY LOUD WITH FREDDIE MERCURY ARM MOVEMENTS}

Sooooo, you want Dick Cheney telling you what to doooo ????

“Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooo”

I SAID, do you want DICK CHENEY telling YOU what to do??????????

“NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

Give it to me one more time !!!!!!!!

“NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

{PAUSE – Waves to surging masses (a few ‘we’re ready, Freddie!’ in the audio)}

So Al Qaeda is your Dick Cheney. And for both of us this is one time it’s good to be er, dickless.

We Must Find Our Inner Mensches

Finally, let’s talk about the mess the British left all of us in the Middle East. Here’s the deal for Bibbi, Likud and the Right. America really is broke. We are leaving. The Master Plan of using us to humiliate Muslims for you to grab settlements here and there in places I won’t even bother learning to pronounce is over. Just like the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact was an immoral signal for war, the Likud-Cheney Pact of Steel is over. I have directed the FBI to once again place Israel in the Counter-Intelligence threat matrix with the Chinese and Russians. Previous OVP and other CI investigations are being restarted. 47th Street Photo will no longer sell AMRAAM missiles and prohibited range extenders for F-15Es.

The Muslim world knows how powerful AIPAC and assorted groups are in U.S. politics. Like me, they want a safe and secure Israel at peace with itself and world. But they bet on the Sith before. They are discredited and helped destroy the United States. They’ll have to make their warmonger arguments now in my Democrat party.

Palestinians, look, let’s also be mensches. You’ve been screwed. By everybody. The Arabs use you to distract their own people from their bleak lives. Others paid you to blow yourselves up. Even your own families screw you. The West Bank and Gaza are French for “I am sitting in a vat of ‘I’m so screwed’.” And the UN is worse than my own Congress. So while America is broke, even in our New Poverty, we still have the comparative means to help you be treated as human beings, with human rights, dignity and reason to hope and love. You know, the kinds of things the Israelis correctly – albeit constantly – remind everyone were stolen from them by that Austrian.

By necessity dialogue is designed to be empty and for show. Lebanon will be a major showcase in that regard.

But we can actually work towards a Two State solution with tangible results on our budget. One that provides for Israel’s legitimate security and Palestinian opportunity, dignity and hope. As for the rest? Iraq? Persians on the march? Afghanistan and Pakistan imploding? In the words of a famous American War Criminal from another time, all I’m asking for is a ‘decent interval.’

Let me be clear. We’ve got alot of work to do. Together. Just remember – NO ONE sending back an extended service plan expense report on anything will get it approved.