If Obama Really Was Behind The Oil Spill Disaster

Obama obviously is not behind the Gulf catastrophe. If he were, he would have made a heavily publicized speech emphasizing zero tolerance for corporate incompetence/malfeasance. He would summon Americans to unite in non-partisan cooperation to combat oil spills in their communities, workplaces and churches. New regulations would ensure the disaster will never, ever, ever occur again. Now imagine Obama concludes by invoking the majesty of his office, promising the bad company will pay the full costs of making the people whole.

Events then meander in and out of focus for months. Media chase frantically the meaning of furtive glances exchanged among Senators Snowe, Collins or even Graham. Entire news cycles are devoted to whether any of them uttered a kind word about Obama’s initiative. The president’s political destiny we are told hangs in the balance. Oddly, although they are in the majority, Reid, Boxer (Environmental Committee) and others are minor players, shuffling awkwardly outside the Republican Caucus like high schoolers smitten with their first crushes. Day after day, month after month.

Finally, when Everyone knows Obama is doomed, Rahm cobbles together the absolute lowest common denominator vehicle and christens it ‘real reform’. In this case, the White House then pokes their wandering Democratic congressional majority to charge vigorously the microphone stand (Schumer needing no encouragement) Their excitement? An initiative which actually *pays* the bad actor — BP — for any inconvenience. In the hopes of winning Corker’s vote, Obama agrees to federalize efforts to regulate cooperation at the community level, in workplaces and at churches. In fact, every suggestion made by Snowe, Collins, Voinovich, Graham, Corker (and all the rest) are adopted in ‘bi-partisanship’.

All still vote against Obama. The Word Doctors provide them talking points, emphasizing Obama refused fair compensation to industry workforce for sleepless nights and trauma. Across talk radio Obama is blasted for his Leftist intransigence against additional tax credits. Rush trumpets the reasonableness of DeMint’s position that Obama must behead a mannequin of Hugo Chavez in primetime.

Faced with such a resounding ‘triumph’ Democrats do the talk show rounds cheerfully explaining that once the American people understood this accomplishment, everyone’s approval ratings will rise. Most write farewell cards to Harry Reid. Olbermann provides the sorbet with at least *2* ‘Special Comments’ celebrating Obama’s firm and unwaivering leadership. He makes the point that his family vacationed at a beach once. With voice quivering in outage recalling these treasured memories, Olbermann defiantly asks of McConnell, ‘How dare you, sir? How dare you?’

Republicans just continue their totalitarianism two-step in public while privately drawing grim satisfaction that their government-by-the-minority bluff remains intact. Again.

Dear Reader, that’s how we know Obama wasn’t involved.