Mirror, Mirror: ‘They’re All Bolsheviks, Now . . .’

It could be that Star Trek episode, you know the one. Evil Spock with the goatee. “Mirror, Mirror” (Season 2, Episode 33 for the geeks).

Instead here it is early 1921. A Politburo meeting. The topic? How to prevent a systemic collapse after excesses of dogmatically ideological government and economic policies. Ad hoc ‘interventions’ fail to stabilize the situation. Let’s listen in . . .

Henry Paulson’s Mirror Mirror

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Nikolai Bukharin: Bernanke: You’ve seen the news. The interventions we implemented earlier such as Tukhachevsky’s smashing of the Tambov uprising such as Bear Stearns and the GSEs are not working to restore order. The sailor revolt in Kronstadt AIG situation is more systemic than we realize. Brutal suppression Our $85 billion bridge loan failed to stabilize the Party’s revolutionary control markets. The economy and our entire system is headed for a free fall if we don’t act now. We must do so and be seen to do so in a major way.

Aleksei Rykov: Paulson: We must act now. This is not how I would like us to operate in theory. Marx taught us that class revolution . . . We all here today remain in favor of unrelenting ideological struggle against class enemies deregulation and market forces. These are cards we are dealt. We must intervene now and seize the ‘commanding heights’ of the economy. We will stimulate regulatory and other incentives to allow market clearing forces to function at the krai local and soyuz Union levels.

We are calling this our New Economic Policy (NEP).

It’s a temporary measure, to signal stabilization to the peasants and workers financial markets. From the excesses of the recent years. We will nationalize those assets that are too big to fail allow others to control and allow primitive capitalization to occur people to feel safe in their mutual funds.

Evgeny Preobrazhensky Eric Cantor: No. We must continue to pursue the policies of market forces War Communism even more so now. Those polices if we don’t panic will work. Only market forces the State can effectively allocate seize control and end the liquidity crisis scissors crisis.

Lev Kamenev:Mitch McConnell: Exactly so. You are asking us to give you a blank check bourgeois freedom to the masses and force the burden onto the backs of the American people revolutionary consciousness. I tell you nationalization private markets are a betrayal in principle and in practice to superior State planning we already had in place under Alan Greespan War Communism.

We are in a crisis, no doubt. And we should act. But nationalization unfettered class retreat is not what is called for.

Grigory Zinoviev: Jim Bunning: When I picked up the morning paper, I thought for a minute we were living in America, not Moscow. I see that socialism capitalism is thriving here in the heart of the free market world revolution. The whole point of capitalism a dictatorship of the proletariat is to allow markets to function. Force individuals take responsibilities for their own actions. Especially if other people they don’t know (who are our friends) screw them crush all opposition to building socialism.

Lev Kamenev: Mitch McConnell: In the end, we are all Americans Party Members and we adhere to the rule of putting the American people first Party solidarity and ending factionalism. My friends Comrades, we must join together and act.

Chuck Schumer: Chuck Schumer: This is a somber moment.