The Amazing Willard Romney Issue No. 1

Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Lunar Colonies, Florida GOP Debates

If today’s GOP primary was a Japanese horror supernatural anime (all rights with respective owners). In both the Movement and Japanese imagination, conveniently blonde hair plays an outsized role. We think Ms. Base Babe definitely should pack, and it’s nice the pointy-headed-liberal here is wearing glasses. Probably went to a better school than Newt.

Issue No.1s are always tricky – introducing the main characters and the hero’s initial journey. While keeping a menace on the horizon. So did we miss anyone? Possibly in the Campbell tradition, the older mentor who must die for the hero to move on. That came to mind.

  • Mitt Romney (in his idealized Fox News blonde state
  • Tea Party and Republican base
  • Liberal Media and Democratic elites
  • Gratuitous T&A for Fox
  • Newt Gingrich (who threatens to stalk the hero to the Convention)

Leave suggestions for Issue No. 2 below.


  1. Aldershot says

    anxiousmodernman :If you abstract away all of the media types, you might miss out on some of the best characters!

    A la Kenny dying in each ep of South Park, each issue sports a panel of Ms. Expediency dismembering a famous journalist.

  2. James N says

    Second issues are tough.

    At some point you’ve got to throw in Obama as Light Yagami, whose “Death Note” drone war is killing its way to a technocrat’s paradise. His 11-dimensional plotting against his own better nature in time becomes functionally indistinguishable from impotence.

  3. anxiousmodernman says

    If you abstract away all of the media types, you might miss out on some of the best characters!

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