Winning The Future – The Bunker’s Latest Baby

With all the grim news lately, the Stiftung decided it was up to us to win the future and add to the velocity of money. So we shut off the ‘news’ and brought a new baby home to the bunker. Please join us in welcoming this Les Paul Standard Traditional Pro. Maddening times demand monster tone and she has it in spades. Plus it’s actually really made in Amerikuh (the Epi clones were Korean are PRC).

She sports BurstBucker and Classic ’57 pickups with push pull coil splits, meaning she can almost get within range of Telecaster twang as well as fabled Les Paul warmth. The maple top is a thing of beauty, although compared to the American Standard Strat and SG Special 3, this is a honking heavy guitar. She’s good therapy already. After crunching out some riffs the spineless Boy King shrinks to the merely infuriating.

Highly recommended. We estimate effective dosage to be three times daily, on the clean channel, with gain and master at 3 o’clock. The Tech-21 Leeds pedal is on order. Interestingly, it’s possible to get a replacement plan for the guitar for fairly reasonable rates.

We asked the store manager if we deliberately re-enacted “This Guitar Has Seconds To Live” wearing an Obama mask for a YouTube video, would the plan buy a totally new guitar? His answer was a simple “absolutely, no questions.” It’s a beautiful instrument but in the scheme of things about the same as a nice laptop. And we’d have no hesitation demolishing a laptop in the service of Art Against Weak Presidents. And it would be covered, too. The trick will be to synchronize the musical devastation with appropriate visual memes and choreography — without violating ordnances for dbs and mayhem.

If we do it, we’d like to ask for your help getting the video viral. After all, it’s the audacious thing to do.